patskinny’s blog

so ... well, we just popped into the Pets At Home store for five minute as a sweetener to the kids for the inevitable horror of a Tesco marathon. This is usually a relatively brief canter past the fish, rabbits and rodents ooohing and aaahing and yyeerrrring at the a) amount of pooh b) the rigored and forgotten gerbil corpse .But this time we were all transfixed by what appeared to be a pure white pixar animated hamster , perfect in every way form its quizzical stare and smile (!) to it's little folded  "arms" but especially to its ability to walk on hind legs (arms still folded)  by flicking out and up its back feet.

Needless to say I was soon punching the pin to the tune of £40 quid. Maude was so excited she immediately wanted a pooh . We were about to leave when an assistant took us to one side to let us know that she (the hamster) can be a "bit nippy" and that we should hang on to the receipt . If she got "too much " they would understand and would find a replacement animal . 

hmmmm  .... Why tell us after the purchase , away from the ears of other members of staff???

"scritch , squeak , scratch , gnaw, gnaw " responded the hamster...... to be continued .( any ideas for names , Maudes first choice is Cheesestring so we might need some help)

Other news , apparently some Australian twits are coming over - just in time  to see England regain the ashes .

Hurrah!!!!!!!

Maude and Bert are now officially on their SIX WEEK summer holidays , remember those endless sunny days bare foot and bronzed? yeah right it has freakin rained every day so far.

so ... nothing really just to say Maude is Daddy's girl .

So our heads were turned, as a family , by a sloped shouldered lolloping short sleeve rock fan in retreat . Thinking , against the odds , that the Popes fiat sat nav had failed and had lead him to leeds instead of Reading while he slept at the wheel , we circled 'round with glee to confront ?????....the 20 year old bearded love child of the aforementioned Blutones fan ... no surely the demon seed of pope hadn't washed up on  Yorkshires borders ? But with a teeshirt whose slogan read " Slow But Reliable" our worst fears may have been confirmed ..  hey but On the upside  you can knock five years off losing your virginity Pat ...confused but happy we went home having seen the editors , dirty pretty things , the future mrs Holley Ting Ting ( not Thai bride) and her , according to bert , gay drummer , Black Kids , We are Scientists, Goth Tits , and the raconteurs... about who Maude commented that the ginger english friend of jack doesn't seem to be fronting the band so much these days ... so says  phill savidges god daughter !!!her last words were " can we fit in norman jays "Good Times "set at CAAAAARNEEEEVALLL tomorrow .. well you would if you loved me mummy and daddy ?  

so .. another day a different beach ... Donna Nook on the Lincolnshire coast ..sounds like a T4 presenter ( berts uncle Tom drunkenly mentioned He'd like to get into ms Nooks' crannie !  . In the winter the beach is renowned as a seal sanctuary ...over excited I expected to see a scar face 90's electro soul singer swaying in a bath chair mumbling "Crazzzeeee " over again ( hey dont laugh , it might have happened who's seen him in the last  5 years ? )unfortunately there weren't any of our doe eyed limbless jelly roll mammalian cousins around ... so Maudies dream of a new winter coat will have to wait  'til squirrel season . Anyway we tied bits of rotting rope and unexploded armaments from the nearby RAF firing range around our childrens waists and told them they would explode in 10,9,8,7,6....etc and just watched them run !!!who said the good old fashioned English seaside holiday is dead?   we then found large clumps of samphire (shore line vegetable across between seaweed and asparagus ) which we harvested and cooked up at home with our bbq that evening . Mr B Holley manfully manned the tongs . watch that chipolatta young man !!!!! heres the samphire ...                                                            

we've all been distracted by a lusty desire  for snacks at some point but nobody wants to see this sort of carnage happen over a simple hankering for  nibbles spied across a busy street.... 

australia pah full of wimps ... hot weather , G Strings thats beach life for beginners . come up north where we bury each other  and play chicken with the tide ..... just for fun !!! as you can see we are in the middle of another glorious english summer ....... Maude is in the cool box keeping warm  .  

a brief skinny kid fix

he's five he,s gorgeous he got much less (0) birthdaycards ( you have no excuses as you all have emmas amazing calendar ) from his london friends than expected !!!!!!but would still appreciate adoring comments en lieu !!!!!!(losers)